This Is Your Invitation to Quit Instagram
When one of my friends quits Instagram, I’m the first person they text. I love those texts because I didn’t have to work hard to receive them. All I had to do was go first. If you’re looking to quit Instagram, look no further. This is the sign you’ve been looking for.
I want to start you off with some reflection questions.
Are you having a hard time controlling your spending?
Do you feel angrier, emptier or lonelier after you’ve scrolled your feed?
Do you ever ask yourself where you’ll find the time to complete a task? How often?
Are you feeling disconnected from your loved ones?
Did you answer yes? Then, it’s time. In the spirit of Regina George from Mean Girls, “Get in loser, we’re quitting Instagram.”
I used to love Instagram. I loved seeing what my friends were up to, watching and sharing funny videos and discovering new accounts (i.e. #bookstagram, #studygrams, various food feeds etc). Unlike the “shitposters”, I viewed Instagram as an extension of ME. I would spend two-three hours on it daily.
Yeah, I worried about my grid aesthetic. I was THAT girl.
My friends loved my account too. I loved it when they would reply to my story or react with a laughing emoji. It made me feel like I was interesting and funny. Every “like”, “react” and message made me feel happy and connected. My life didn’t feel “little” anymore. The feedback kept me online for years.
Happiness and connection are the two reasons I had an Instagram account.
Why do you have yours?
In 2018, I began my career in tech. I became a software developer. Part of that career switch involved learning more about technology as a whole. After learning the ins and outs of a career in development, I ventured into tech topics. I loved learning about data collection and privacy.
In 2019, I started a new job. I was lucky to have a wonderful senior developer. In the morning, I would come in early and form a list of questions for him. I sorted my questions in two buckets “related” (to work) and “unrelated”.
Sometimes, when he’d come in, and I’d say, “I have a question — ” and he would cut me off to ask, “related or unrelated?”
Unrelated, nine times out of ten!
See, I spent a lot of time learning about data privacy and collection and I had questions. I was having a hard time formulating my own thoughts about it. I couldn’t organize what I believed with what I was learning. My senior developer helped with that a lot. He’d been thinking about it for years!
In general, I asked questions like: What of this is real? What of this is fear? What’s good? What’s bad? On and on I went. He listened patiently. He offered context, perspective and his opinion.
Very quickly, naivety and hopelessness were put aside. I no longer thought that “if I had nothing to hide, I shouldn’t have to worry about privacy” or “It’s too late. It’s already ‘out there’.” With emotions on the shelf, he helped me make some serious headway into the guts of the matter.
He also helped me balance my perspective on tech. I think this is one of the great benefits of discussing topics in real life. People stop us from going down rabbit-holes. People teach us balance.
I started thinking critically about my tech use and the algorithms behind the products I loved.
I wondered why, when we all know, “if the service is free, you are the product”, it does not stop us from deleting our apps. We know our information is being shared and sold. Why are we okay with it?
Facts do not motivate us to take actions like feelings do.
I deleted my Instagram for four reasons:
- I was getting bored of it. In late 2019, I started wanting more. I wanted honest and deep conversations with friends and intelligent content in my feed. I felt like… I was giving my time to this app. What was it giving me? Was it making me a better person? (No.) I loved Instagram and deleting it felt unbearable. So, I tried mapping my new needs onto the app but I came up short. Then, I tried deactivating. Each time I would deactivate, I wondered, why do I feel that I need to a break from something that I “love”? The quote that best describes my activation/deactivation behaviour is: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” I needed to do something different. I had to be fearless.
- It made me feel lonely and unfulfilled. At first, I blamed myself. I thought I needed to get out more. Then, I started to think about what I looked at everyday. Since that was hard to answer, I asked myself easier questions like, what is Instagram to me? For me, Instagram is an advertising tool. It makes money by selling to you. It sells you love, travel, friendship, food, books — whatever you declare that you like. In the beginning, it makes you happy to see what you love on your feed, but I found, when I saw what I loved everyday, it made me feel unsatisfied over time. Why?! Well, I didn’t actually HAVE it. When you see something, day in and day out, eventually you WANT it, in real life. Instagram made me feel slightly unfulfilled with every scroll, double-tap and follow.
- It made me spend money I didn’t have. Instagram exposed needs to me, everyday. Ads on Instagram are so sneaky. They create needs in you and then they make you feel like it was your idea. Today, before I make an online purchase, I ask myself, “Where did I see this product? Why do I want it? Can I substitute it with something I already own?”
- I don’t want to be a victim to misinformation and radicalization online. This is a risk you run on every social media app. One of the most valuable discussions I had with my senior developer involved learning about the role algorithms play in misguiding vulnerable people (i.e. broken people, elderly, kids) online.
He explained how algorithms lack discretion. Algorithms, unlike people, do not know when something is becoming harmful or is destructive. They are optimized to create groups so that they can facilitate connection between people. Sounds harmless, right? What are your feelings about QAnon, Sandy Hook deniers and climate change deniers?
My senior developer gave me the example of a library. In a library, if you were to only check out material from climate change deniers, a librarian would nudge you. Perhaps, they’d recommend you try reading a book on climate change. Not to influence or change your opinion but provide perspective. To allow YOU to formulate a stronger, fuller opinion.
Inevitably, this would result in either you leaving the library believing climate change is real OR believing it’s real but it’s importance is exaggerated. Both outcomes, positive or negative, are better than what we’re seeing today.
Today, we’re seeing algorithms shepherd “like” people into groups. These groups are then being shown content that confirms what they already believe resulting in “two” kinds of people, who are seeing two totally different realities. They’re angry, divided and hateful.
When I see that — in real life and online — I think I am best off social media. Every “like” and engagement for me is a step closer to whichever group the algorithm thinks I belong in. I don’t think I’m immune to misinformation or radicalized. I mentioned the vulnerable being targeted…well, who is not feeling vulnerable with the pandemic raging “outside”?
Cal Newport, the author of “Digital Minimalism” put it best — “I love the internet but I hate social media.” In the past, I went on social media to gain information. Today, I seek information from independent resources. I take charge of my own education. I do not allow an algorithm to facilitate learning for me.
I rejoined Instagram in January 2021 for a six week writing course. After a year away, I find Instagram incredibly addictive. I can spend two hours browsing tiktoks and laughing very easily. I hate it very much. Not laughing. I love joy. I hate my loss of control.
I hate being unable to stop scrolling. This is by design, of course. No timer or sheer determination can stop you from endlessly scrolling. The only way to “beat” Instagram is to leave it.
The interface has changed significantly too. I am shocked that the “new post” button has been moved all the way at the top; out of a creators reach! In it’s place, there is a button for shopping. Gross. I dislike the new feed too. In between your followers, you are exposed to more ads. It’s incredibly claustrophobic.
Oh, and don’t get me started on the Facebook advertising everywhere. The DM icon is the same as the FB messenger icon. Ew. Instagram is no longer independent. It is now a funnel for creating more Facebook users.
It’s no wonder the creator of Instagram, Kevin Systrom, said, “No one ever leaves a job because everything’s awesome.” when he left Facebook in 2018.
I agree with Kevin’s sentiment. I didn’t leave Instagram because everything’s awesome either.
When I quit Instagram, I felt disconnected. I hated seeing no notifications on my phone. I wondered where my friends were and why nobody checked up on me. I also felt lost. I got the free time I so wanted but now that I had it, I didn’t know what to do with it.
Over time, I re-learned how to connect with friends without Instagram (or, social media, in general). I learned to connect with people I met in real life too. I had the patience and time for it. I started calling friends more too but I am still a texter. I haven’t met too many friends in person so my life hasn’t changed drastically, but I am happier.
I am content with what I am, where I am and what I own.
In two weeks, I end an incredible course and delete my Instagram. I am counting down the days I delete my account. Interacting with Instagram today, I feel nothing. I think I made a great decision and I think, if you put aside fear, and replace it with possibility, you will find deleting your account to be an incredibly powerful and life-changing action you can take today.
There are 101 ways to stay connected in 2021. Exchange numbers, emails, and meet in real life! Connect with one another on LinkedIn. Send one another letters. I promise connection and happiness are possible without social media. Without Instagram.
Our real life, is in front of us and around us. When you first put your phone down, it will feel dull and small, but if you engage with it, like you engage with your IG, you will find reasons to love it. I have.
